My Leadership Crush
Hi, my name is Eve Annunziato, and I’m a leadership-oholic (“Hello Eve!”).
My addiction – learning to lead and lead well – a life long exploration that I’m not quite sure I’ll ever fully conquer. But before we get stared, let me first say how excited I am to help launch our Cultivate Her Blog. It’s an honor to serve on such an amazing board with such an amazing group of women focused on an amazing vision to help women connect, commit and champion to inspire one another. I’m honored and humbled… Speaking of humility, that reminds me of a confession I feel compelled to disclose – just between us!
I have a confession; I have a major crush. Well, at least an affinity; an affinity for any leader who possesses the virtue of humility – a very, very rare feature to find. Recently, I met with an effective, great yet grounded leader who reminded me of the uncommon but necessary “modesty” quality. Not a characteristic I possess personally, but one I precariously long to attain. I tend to be haughty, however, my husband refers to me as a “confident and assured leader.” But, keep in mind, he loves me! (note, that very sentence was NOT a very humble remark now was it? I rest my case!). I feel one of the most attractive attributes of any leader is humility, especially for those of us who struggle with restraint. Humility certainly doesn’t mean you lack assertiveness, strength, determination, competitiveness or lack intelligence. In fact, it’s quite the contrary:
“The temptation of ego enhancement often entices many young leaders down the road to frustration and compromise . . . .One could argue that a lack of humility would be acceptable in high-intensity operations. However, the need for stable leaders with authentic humility remains constant.” Lieutenant Colonel Joseph Doty
Leadership author, Jim Collins, describes a humble leader as follows:
- Demonstrates a compelling modesty, shunning public adulation, never boastful
- Acts with quiet, calm determination; relies principally on inspired standards, not inspiring charisma, to motivate
- Looks in the mirror, not out the window to apportion responsibility for poor results, never blaming other people, external factors, or bad luck
- Builds enduring greatness through a paradoxical combination of personal humility plus professional will
The bible, what I consider the best-written guide for teaching and strengthening your leadership skills, puts it this way:
First pride, then the crash – the bigger the ego, the harder the fall. Proverbs 16:18 (The Message)
Leading a flock has a way of exposing the flaws of our own personal vanity. But learning the lesson that, “pride goes before destruction” can be a revolutionary discovery. If we can adopt a teachable spirit, we can begin to shift our management focus away from exalting our own successes, importance and accomplishments (or however we refer to our self promotion and security boosts). I’ve learned (the hard way, of course) intentionally elevating team members channels motivation, confidence and wisdom to others. Promoting our own significance leads to stumbling.
“Focusing on glorifying God and meeting the needs of others gives us the perspective of the wise.” Dennis Fisher
Proverbs advises that when pride comes, shame follows; yet when humility comes, wisdom follows. That’s the path I’m striving, earnestly, to pursue during my leadership trek.
I’ve seen leaders start out unassuming, but after an unhealthy dose of power and fame, their feet no longer reach the ground. Their spirit turns disingenuous. Don’t overlook the essential component of authentic humility. Modesty is compelling, pride is repelling. Humility in any organization or team will create a loyal environment, trustworthy relationships, and quality results. Additionally, an unassuming spirit appeals to others, as they, too, aspire to achieve the same unpretentiousness. As, I, constantly aspire to achieve, therefore perhaps my leadership crush is quite healthy after all…
Gosh Eve – this is amazing! Sometimes I wonder if I seem like too laid-back of a leader b/c I work (probably to a fault) to make sure that I'm leading with the characteristics that Jim Collins describes above – and sometimes I feel like I'm moving too slowly b/c I'm (at least hopefully) not acting like some of the punk people I see bullying their way to the top and being the squeaky wheel, etc. This post reminded me to keep in keeping on and amidst being "chilled" still to show that continuous perseverance, persistence and dedication toward the end goal. Thanks for taking the time to share with us and encourage us!
Kat – you're amazing. Take your time and keep on keeping on – we all love you just the way you are….
What a great post! We can all get in trouble as leaders if we're not checking our ego from time-to-time. While you can't lead without confidence, those who lead with pronounced arrogance often lose their influence. To lead is an honor. To lead is a privilege. As a leader, you must respect your position. If you do, and you lead well, the effects of your leadership can be wide-reaching and dramatic. Great post, Eve! I'm very proud of the leader you are!
Charlie – thanks for your unwavering encouragement and support. I agree to lead in an honor and to have you as my partner is an even bigger and better honor
Great thoughts Eve. I think being humble is one of the greatest leadership challenges – the confidence, intensity and drive that helps us step up to lead can also lead us to arrogance. Thanks for challenging us with this!
I agree, Jenni. It's quite a difficult balance. Often times my strengths get me in trouble and sometimes turn into weaknesses if I don't have them in check…
"Proverbs advises that when pride comes, shame follows; yet when humility comes, wisdom follows. That’s the path I’m striving, earnestly, to pursue during my leadership trek."
Those Proverbs are everywhere these days!
I really just need to tattoo all 31 chapters on my arm
Wonder what Chuck would think about that?! Wait, don't answer that!
this is GREAT!!!
being humble as a leader IS one of the greatest challenges we face.
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i love the proverb: pride comes – shame follows — but when humility comes — wisdom follows
thank you for this post.
I agree, I would say it's my BIGGEST challenge of all!
Eve, this was a really neat post to read. Your confidence and drive in the way you lead continues to encourage me. i see you balance both consideration and determination so well. it is refreshing to see leaders lead in a humble yet powerful way. thank you for this reminder to pray daily for a spirit-filled confidence instead of letting my prideful one take the lead.
So well said, Sarah. You make my words sound so much more profound. I love your servant's heard and grace filled leadership! Thanks for your positive words and support.
Eve, Your Leadership inspires me! I am so greatful to work on this team with you!
Eve, excellent! Thank you for sharing! You made a few points that have helped with discerning the difference in promo'ing books I write vs. promo'ing myself. And I love the quotes:
“Focusing on glorifying God and meeting the needs of others gives us the perspective of the wise.” Dennis Fisher
Builds enduring greatness through a paradoxical combination of personal humility plus professional will
PS–can you all add an email subscriber to this blog? I'd love to get notices of new posts. THX!
I feel the same way about you, Jess. We should all aspire to have your talent and humble spirit.
Eve ~ To read your post is like reading the foreshadowing of the downfall of our marriage and ministry ! You wrote:
"I’ve seen leaders start out unassuming, but after an unhealthy dose of power and fame, their feet no longer reach the ground. Their spirit turns disingenuous. Don’t overlook the essential component of authentic humility."
This is so true and it took the complete destruction of our family and ministry to realize it! Thank you for writing such an honest post!
I think every crisis I have ever faced has been a lesson in pride. Recently, I had to ask God, "Why do I need to face devastation in order to learn humility?" It didn't take long for Him to answer. And, although the truth is painful at times, I believe it will help me grow deeper with Him and grow as a person – it better!!
I love this quote, Tina. So very true. Thanks for sharing and thanks for your comment.