Dreams…
Today we have a BEAUTIFUL guest post from Cultivate Her Attendee Susie Aboulhosn. I encourage you to go here and check out Susie’s blog.
What do I dream about? What did I dream about as a kid? Do I still dream? We were asked these questions at the February Cultivate Her….and as I sat there pondering….I initially had no idea of how to respond. I mean how do you answer the question without showing vulnerability to a table of women who you just met? And well, I “faked” my way through it….I gave them my dream (which was a legitimate dream/goal that I had as a kid)—to one day be in the encyclopedia and have people read about who I am and what I did. I figured it would be about discovering something great—you know like a cure for cancer. I wanted to be remembered. A little foolish don’t you think? But when I analyze it, it really boils down to leaving a legacy in this world…whether it’s in one person’s life or whether it’s in thousands of lives. My prayer is that I have already done that in some small way….that I have impacted the life of my sister or my nieces and nephews or in taking a photograph that has touched someone or by being a friend who is there in the time of need. We all have the opportunity to leave a legacy.
But, I didn’t really admit my real dream….I didn’t admit it because it scared me to say it out loud. It scared me that if I said it out loud that it will not come true. It scared me because I thought I would sound stupid. So I didn’t admit that my real dream is to get married and become a wife and mother. I want to leave a legacy in my children…to leave a legacy in my family with my husband.
I had it planned out….I would be married and have my first child by 30. Well, I turned 30 almost a decade ago and my dream has not come true. At times, it scares me that getting married and having children may not happen.
However, I am not ready to give up on my dream. I don’t think God wants me to give up on my dream. I do think He wants me to give up control of my dream. He wants me to put my complete HOPE in Him. To put my complete HOPE in Him means that I completely TRUST Him. And this is where I struggle… how do I fully surrender control over to Him? I can recite Jeremiah 29:11 in my sleep…”For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”…so I know He has my back. Yet, for some reason, I hold onto this illusion that He needs my help in achieving my dreams and He continually reminds me that He doesn’t. He just wants me to focus on Him…to trust Him….to love Him…and everything else will fall into place. *Sigh*
So, do you struggle to completely (and I mean completely) trust God with your dream? How do you try to control your dreams?
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” CS Lewis
PS – Have you signed up for the April Cultivate Her event? Here’s a link to RSVP. We are going to be talking about confidence. You will not want to miss it!
Susie,
This post is incredible. I am so sorry I have been so busy and it took me so long to share it. Your heart is beautiful. I know how hard it is to speak of these dreams. When I posted something simiiar I was so afraid of being misunderstood.
And yes, it is so hard to trust God with dreams. But He is good and faithful. And this dream is on your heart for a reason!
Lindsey
Thanks Lindsey for the opportunity to write a guest post….and yes, the fear of being misunderstood is sometimes overwhelming.
Looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks.
Susie A.
Susie,
Thank you for really sharing your dream! So proud of your vulnerability and honesty… and I know there are so many others that will be encouraged by your words.
So thankful you're a part of Cultivate Her!
Thanks Jenni!! I am thankful you had the courage to start Cultivate Her!!
Susie A.
How blessed I am to read this! Can't wait to see you again!
Sweetie
Thanks Sweetie. I can't wait to see you again as well.
Susie A.
WHAT a great post!!! Thank you for sharing with us!!!
Thanks for the comments gals! I have really enjoyed being a part of Cultivate Her and meeting some amazing women. Being vulnerable is not my strong point…yet, I have such desire to be more authentic…more real….and writing this guest post is one of many small steps in that direction.
I will also be honest that when I got the tweet that the post was up….I was holding my breath. It's one thing to write a post…it's another thing to see it in "print" and wonder what people are going to think.
Can't wait to see everyone in a couple of weeks.
Be Blessed!!!
Susie A.
You have no idea how much I needed this today. My dream has always been to be a wife and mother too. Neither one of them is in sight now. Not even faintly on the horizon. I was told on Wednesday that I might be in perimenopause. At age 34. Whether it is true or not, just the possibility is pretty heart wrenching.
I think you are on to something. I know I struggle with control. God wants me to give up. Not give up on my dreams, but give up control. So when his plans for me do come about, I will know they are his plans…not mine.
Redheadkate….I can understand the "not on the horizon"…..everytime there is the possibility of blip on the radar, it seems to fade very quickly.
I will be praying about your news that you received on Wednesday. May He provide you the peace you need.
Susie A.
How blessed I am to read this! Can’t wait to see you again!
Sweetie
Awesome Susie! I appreciate your being transparent…. putting it out their…. truly blessed.
You have no idea how much I needed this today. My dream has always been to be a wife and mother too. Neither one of them is in sight now. Not even faintly on the horizon. I was told on Wednesday that I might be in perimenopause. At age 34. Whether it is true or not, just the possibility is pretty heart wrenching.
I think you are on to something. I know I struggle with control. God wants me to give up. Not give up on my dreams, but give up control. So when his plans for me do come about, I will know they are his plans…not mine.