Miranda shared her journey of finding her worth in her talents.

Lorrie shared her story of finding her identity in her role as a mom of 6 amazing kids.

I shared my ups and downs of finding my value in my achievements.

The point of our stories was to share that all of us tend to find our identity in other things rather than in what God says is true about us.  We grasp at roles, accomplishments and accolades to feel worthy… to feel valued.

As we closed the evening, I challenged everyone to take some time this week with God.  Some intentional time. Take a hike Saturday morning and pray.  Replace “The Bachelor” with an hour of reading the Bible and praying.

To know what God says about us, we have to know God.

And to know God, we have to spend time with Him.

That sounds like a great plan until someone posed this very important question: How do I hear God’s voice?

What an honest and beautiful question!

And also a difficult question…

I don’t believe there is a formula to hearing God’s voice.  I don’t think there is a switch you can flip.  Hearing God’s voice may look different for each of us.

I grabbed this excerpt from allaboutprayer.org that might be helpful:

When you want to have a conversation with someone, how do you begin? Do you stand in front of the person and hope they will talk to you? That might work, if the other person is outgoing enough, but usually we begin a conversation by opening our own mouths and talking, engaging the other person’s attention. It’s the same with God! He loves to hear us talk to Him, and it’s in those moments that we prepare ourselves to hear the voice of God. Prayer is like saying, “Hello, God, it’s me. I believe You created me and that You know way more about how I should live my life than I do. I’d like to get to know You better. Here’s what’s going on in my life, and I’d sure like Your thoughts on how to handle it. Would You please speak to me about this today?”

In an ordinary conversation, we speak, then listen for the response of the other person. It’s the same with God! Once we’ve prepared our hearts to listen through prayer, we’re more likely to hear the voice of God. Does He speak to us through an audible voice? Some claim He does, but usually that’s not the case. We may not actually “hear” the voice of God, but He speaks to us in many ways. Here are some of them:

• God speaks through His Word
• God speaks through our thoughts
• God speaks through conversations with others
• God speaks through circumstances

What about you?  How do you hear the voice of God?

Watch Sami’s video and then process these questions with us: Uniquely You Curriculum-Week 2

Who You Are Is Not Defined by What You Do from Jenni Catron on Vimeo.

If you live in the Nashville area, we would love to invite you to our Cultivate Her meetings!

We’ll be starting our new semester on Monday, January 24th.  We’ll meet every other Monday night at 6:30 PM at the Cross Point Bellevue Campus.  Cultivate Her is a mid-sized community group that seeks to connect, engage and inspire women to develop their unique giftedness and leadership influence.  I can’t wait to get started!

You can sign up HERE (be sure to note “Cultivate Her” in the comments box).

I hope you have all had a wonderful Christmas!

In these last few days of the year, I can’t help but reflect on what I want to resolve to do more of, to do less of, to do differently, to do better, etc.  I suspect you’re in the same thought process, right?

I found this poem a few weeks ago at www.fitness4her.com and I think it’s a great piece for reflection as you plan this new year.  As women leaders there are so many things that tug at us, but always remember where your strength comes from!

A strong woman works out every day
to keep her body in shape
but a woman of strength looks deep inside
to keep her soul in shape

A strong woman isn’t afraid
of anything
but a woman of strength shows courage
in the midst of her fear

A strong woman won’t let anyone
get the best of her
but a woman of strength gives the best
of her to everyone

A strong woman makes mistakes
and avoids the same in the future
but a woman of strength realizes life’s mistakes
can also be blessings and capitalizes on them

A strong woman walks
sure footedly
but a woman of strength knows
when to ask for help

A strong woman wears the look
of confidence on her face
but a woman of strength
wears grace

A strong woman has faith
that she is strong enough for the journey
but a woman of strength has faith
that it is in the journey that she will become strong

~unknown author

Happy New Year!

I guess that’s what makes me a girl… I still love a sweet love song.

“You’re amazing just the way you are.”

How much do we all long to hear that from someone we love?

Being accepted and loved is a basic need for all of us.

I know the song talks a lot about the physical appearance (which I’m ridiculously guilty of obsessing over), but how much more do I tend to measure my other short comings?

I’m too insensitive.

I’m too sensitive.

I worry too much.

I try to be perfect.

I’m selfish.

I lose my temper.

I compare and compete.

Ok, I could go on…

So with all of that going on in my crazy head, I have trouble believing anyone could love me just the way I am.  And yet, that’s what God says to us, doesn’t he?

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

I love this quote from Max Lucado because it reminds me of God’s love but acknowledges the need for God to perfect and refine me:

God loves you just the way you are, but He refuses to leave you that way.  He wants you to be just like Jesus.

Do you accept that God loves you just the way you are?

Allow those words to ring true in your heart!

If you live in or around Nashville, let me encourage you to make plans to join us:

Wednesday, November 17th

7:00 – 8:30 AM

Cross Point Nashville Campus

I’m very excited about our special guest for this month’s event.  Dr. Kellie Hargis will be sharing with us about Leading through Tension.  Our own Trish Davis will be interviewing Dr. Hargis and sharing more of her story.  Trish has raved about the leadership she has seen displayed by Dr. Hargis who is the Principal of Bellevue Middle School where Trish’s boys attend.  I know that we’ll be inspired!

Dr. Kellie M. Hargis, daughter of a Western Kentucky coal miner [Billy] and full-time homemaker [JoAnna], was born and grew up in Madisonville, KY.   Dr. Hargis began her career as an educator in her hometown, serving as a fine arts, humanities, and music educator for grades 7-12.  While in Madisonville, she was honored by Centre College with the Outstanding Educator Award in its Governor’s Scholar Program. After moving to Nashville in 1999, she made the transition into the field of school counseling.  Since then, Dr. Hargis has served as school counselor for students in grades PK-12 in both regular and alternative education settings for Wilson County and Metro Nashville Public Schools.  As Director of School Counseling Services for the Tennessee Department of Education, she introduced the Tennessee Model for Comprehensive School Counseling and established the first annual Tennessee School Counseling Institute.

Wanting to be more involved in direct service to students at the local level, Dr. Hargis transitioned into the role as Assistant Principal at Hume-Fogg Academic Magnet High School in Nashville, TN.   During that time, she was selected by the Director of Schools and Vanderbilt University to participate in P.L.A.N. (The Principals’ Leadership Academy of Nashville).  Dr. Hargis was also selected by Vanderbilt to travel to China as a part of E.L.L.E. (The Educational Leadership Learning Exchange) to research and study the education system in Guangzhou, China, in the summer of 2008. Then, just last November, she was asked to lead the MNPS School Counseling Department as Executive Director.

Kellie holds a B.S. degree with music education certification from Austin Peay State University and an M.A. Ed. from Western Kentucky University.  She completed the doctoral program in Educational Leadership and Policy at Peabody College of Vanderbilt University in 2007 and was awarded the Arville V. Wheeler Award for outstanding scholarship. The focus of her research centered on the issues of equity & access in college perceptions, preparedness and participation.

Sharon Hodde Miller lives outside Chicago with her husband where she is currently pursuing a PhD in Educational Studies at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. She also loves to write and has a passion for equipping women with theology and the practical truths of Scripture. You can read more of her writing at her blog, sheworships.com.

I had the privilege of meeting Sharon earlier this fall.  We quickly talked away a couple of hours sharing our passions and convictions for women in leadership and ministry.  Sharon is an amazing young woman leader and I’m so excited she’ll be contributing here more regularly!

Leading with a Gentle and Quiet Spirit

If you’ve ever met me, even once, you probably know one thing about my personality–I am not shy. Although an introvert by nature, I tend to be fairly outgoing and outspoken when the occasion calls (or when it doesn’t). I’m the daughter of a go-getting entrepreneur, so I’ve tried to study and learn my dad’s leadership strengths, and I definitely have his personality.

I’m not a wallflower. At all.

With that in mind, I have been inclined to avoid the following verses, which tended to make me feel squeamish and uncomfortable every time I read them:

3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. –1 Peter 3:3-4

Now I’m totally tracking with the first verse. That’s a topic I discuss with young women all the time: the importance of not founding your confidence on fleeting, superficial physical attributes.

But the second verse, that’s the one that always makes me squirm. Adorn yourself with a “gentle and quiet spirit?” It sounds like a prescription for a cookie cutter personality. In order to be a good Christian woman you have to be quiet and shy and not talk too much. You have to be compliant and meek and easy to dominate.

And that’s how some Christians have interpreted these verses. Because of this passage, strong Christian women have been made to feel less feminine or ungodly because they had outgoing personalities. They were a perceived threat to male leadership.

But that is by no means the best interpretation of these verses. Notice that it says a quiet and gentle “spirit,” not “personality.” This verse is describing the spirit and motive that drives your personality, not the personality itself. You can still be outgoing and strong and passionate, while also possessing a quiet and gentle spirit underneath.

That said, it is also important to note that a woman can be painfully shy and quiet, while also possessing a rebellious and bitter spirit. It’s not the personality that this passage is addressing, but the guiding compass behind it. God cares about your heart.

With all of this in mind, I thought I’d draw up a list of diagnostics that highlight the distinctions between an outgoing woman with a quiet and gentle spirit, versus an outgoing woman a loud and rebellious spirit. As you read this, search your own heart to see which category mostly resembles your spirit:

With a Quiet and Gentle Spirit:

• Confident but not forceful
• Demonstrates leadership without being overly controlling
• Is driven by a trust in Christ, not a fear of failure
• Outspoken but humble
• Slow to speak, communicating Scriptural truth and wisdom

Without a Quiet and Gentle Spirit:

• Will push and push until she gets her way
• A control freak
• Driven by fear
• Always has to be heard
• Brash, quick to speak, and quick to become angry

At their cores, the difference between these two spirits is peace versus fear. You are driven by one or the other, and it’s up to you to determine which one it is.

So if you’re like me, go ahead and be outgoing! Be passionate and outspoken and be a leader! But do it for the right reasons. Not because you want attention or because you have something to prove or because you’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t. Do it because God gave you that personality and He should be glorified through it.

A quiet and gentle spirit does not equal a bland personality. It’s simply an anchor that enhances your God-given uniqueness, so embrace it.

How are you embracing your God-given personality?

You can choose one of more of the items in the poll below:

If you have other thoughts or ideas, please be sure to share those with us in the comments section!

Thank you!!

I’ve just started reading this very intriguing book by Shaunti Feldhahn called The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace.

She kicks off the first chapter with this quote:

We as women can be skilled, talented, highly educated, mentored, networked – and yet trade all of that away by unintentionally undermining ourselves in our interactions with male colleagues.

I’d love to have a little discussion about this…

How do you think we as women unintentionally undermine ourselves with the men we work with?

Do you have an example you’re willing to share?

I hate my toes.  Feet in general really kind of freak me out, but I’ve particularly disliked my toes for as long as I can remember.  My size 9 shoe on a 5’4″ frame is a little obnoxious.  And my toes…well,  they are long and really quite dreadful.  It’s just been in recent years that I’ve been brave enough to wear open-toed shoes, and I still think twice every time I buy a new pair.

It’s no real surprise here that this is just one more thing that I obsess about… that I can’t be content with…  that I can’t accept as how I’m uniquely created.

Funny isn’t it, how much we know that this stuff just shouldn’t matter, but if we’re honest it does?  We all have our something and some of us have more than one something.

For instance, hair… I could go into another rant about my thin, stringy, dirty blond hair, but I’ll save you that one for now.

I’m learning to get comfortable with being unfinished work. For all my vain attempts to make everything about myself perfect, it’s all fleeting.  We’re not designed to be finished here on Earth.

And while I’ve ranted about the exterior things, there are so many hidden parts of my heart that are unfinished work too.

Am I willing to expose their imperfections like I showcase my dreadful toes?

Am I willing to allow a little bit of the unfinished to be known?

Do I trust that God’s at work and that while I won’t be completely finished here on Earth, there will be a day when He’ll complete His work in me?

Unfinished Work…

What’s your unfinished obsession?