Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

January 2006 through April 2006 was a season of growth in my life.  I often look back on those 4 months.  I set and accomplished goals and realized I could shake off the thing that hindered me in the past.  In those four months I lost 25 pounds, gave up all fried foods and trained and ran my first half marathon. God taught me a lot about discipline, training & perseverance throughout those four months. I had this euphoric feeling like I was standing on top of a mountain with my hands raised.

January 2010 through April 2010 was different. I once again gave up fried foods, trained and ran a half marathon. I didn’t lose 25 pounds (I actually gained a little), and  I was furious when I finished with the same race time as 2006. I had run 5 half marathons since then. I wasn’t happy that friends who had never ran a half marathon were beating my time by minutes.  All I could do was pour over the finishing results and wallow in my terrible race time.  For the next month I felt so beat down.

What happened?  In 2010 I didn’t feel like I was in a bad place spiritually. God had been teaching me discipline, training and perseverance in other areas of my life. I began to look deep into the reasons I wanted to run in 2006. Why was it so exciting and healthy (mentally & physically) in 2006 yet in 2010 it was not?

I still run, I love to run. I ran 5 miles yesterday. But this year, I’m not running a half marathon.

I realized that my first race was for me, for God to teach me things about myself I would have never discovered.

AND the way I grew spiritually 5 years ago isn’t the way I’m growing today.

My method of growth has changed.  Sometimes God uses a physical challenge to grow me but I can’t expect to re-live some euphoric feeling I’ve had in the past doing the same thing.

Are there things you do that need evaluation, and do you expect the same results when you do them?

“We can not be overcomers without troubles of overcoming” – life application study bible devotional based on Exodus 1:12, But the more they were oppressed, the more they multiplied and spread; so the Egyptians came to dread the Israelites.

Seriously hit me in the face first thing this morning.

The other day I thought about quitting something I loved.  Why, because I had little desire to overcome the trouble I was facing. I just wanted to walk away.  At times in the past the overcoming part has been so deeply painful that I would rather quit. But I have fought through the difficult decision not to quit in the past. As I faced my current situation, I asked myself:

*How did I stick it out and overcome in the past?
*At times, how did I overcome for so long?
*In one season of my life, how did I wake up every morning and decide to overcome, knowing I would feel pain by the end of the day and have to start ALL OVER AGAIN the next day?

After asking myself these questions I realized that during those times it was less of me and more of Him. Just as He helped the Israelites against the Egyptians, He multiplied so many things I so desperately needed.  He put people in my life that encouraged me.  He gave me comfort and taught me how to take big risks. After looking back on what He had brought me through in the past, my small trouble I needed to overcome didn’t look as scary.

It’s hard to overcome difficult situations in leadership, our jobs, our marriages, with our kids, family members and friends. There are days I don’t want to overcome, but I have to. We all have to.

*What has He taught you through the process of making you an overcomer?

*Do you find it easier when troubles come to look back at what God has helped you overcome or do you find it more defeating to think through all the pain that went along with it?

Let’s help each other remember how He gave us light in our dark place and meditate on this truth:

John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

There is only one place I want to be at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve,

The church I grew at in Louisville, KY.

But as I consider the significance of this tradition and my expectations, I start to reflect on the reality of my experience:
- The pastor I grew up with is long gone
- I don’t know many people who attend that church anymore
- I dress up to impress people I only see once a year
- I don’t go to celebrate Jesus
- Having not lived in Louisville for almost 10 years it’s ALWAYS stressful trying to get there on time

There are many traditions, events,  programs and places we participate in during the Holiday Season.

When was the last time you asked yourself:

Why am I still doing them?

Take a moment to evaluate these obligations and expectations you have put on yourself.

Check your motives and FREE yourself this year to focus on Jesus’ birth.

Honestly, databases are a necessary evil in my life.  I have been blessed to be able to basically design my own database for groups at Cross Point.  As beneficial as that is, there are still some parts of the process that I can not hand off to a volunteer or a very competent friend. I know with every fiber of my being that I’m the best person to do these nitty gritty details, but the fact is it frustrates me. I am in the process of asking my amazing leaders to update the members in their group.  We only do this once a semester and the process is tedious for me and the leader.  The data is important, we need to know how many of those who sign up for a group are actually getting plugged into that group.  The numbers make me sad, and more than anything I have a concern for these people that the leaders have heard nothing from…where are they finding community? I know we can not MAKE them find community, but they burn on my heart.  Then there is the 2nd problem we have with this process.  When I email these disconnected people to ask if they would like to try another group, I do it reluctantly.  I am so reluctant because I know there are very few open groups, this remind me of how many more leaders we need.

This is where I’m at. It’s so easy for me to just not even enter into this process.  We direct people to a group. If that one doesn’t work, just leave it at that. We tried right?

I know that this is where the process is messy, where I find myself depressed. I’m in  the midst of the semester, dying to hear the good stories from groups and dreading the emails or phone calls from those I know I can’t find the perfect fit for.  I may never ever solve this problem, but it’s where we as groups people oftentimes find ourselves.

Is there are part of your leadership, job or your ministry which you find it easier to avoid?  How does it feel to face the challenges and actually dive into the mess head first?  Or do you just keep your head in the sand?

We entered our first community group discussion on shattered dreams and as stories of death, addiction, anger & betrayal became front and center I still stood back.

Then one girl in the group challenged those of us who hadn’t shared any shattered dreams with the words “major disappointment.”  I stopped and thought, and actually yes I have had that happen. Though not as significant as the stories being tossed around, it does still affect my life.

I started to share with the group that while I was growing up, school was always such a challenge for me.  I was in a very academically elite school system and those around me were rewarded publically for high grades and those with low grades were pushed aside.  I was one of the ones pushed aside.  I had little to no confidence in anything I did because I knew I would always be average.

As I graduated and moved onto college I started to realize that though it was important for me to get a good education, academics were just one area of my life.  I started to thrive in college through leadership roles all over campus; new student orientation leader, committee chair, Resident Assistant, Secretary of my senior class and graduating with a Leadership emphasis. Through this, my confidence grew. I was ready to tackle the world at graduation day.

My first job post-college was exciting but I began to learn quickly how tough it would be to maintain this confidence in my career.  I found myself 3 months after graduation un-employed.  Unlike school growing up I did thrive at my job, I had a lot of confidence and knew I was doing my job well yet I was pushed aside.  My second job was a different atmosphere and different daily tasks yet it had ended much like the first one.

During that group meeting I started to realize how scared I was.  I was scared to have confidence in anything I did.  If I felt like every move I made was being evaluated, every closed door at my job or even with my group of friends was an emergency meeting talking about the terrible job I was doing.  I had no idea it was taking such control over my daily life.

Over the past few months I have started to work through my fears and go confidently forward in doing the job God has called me to and moving toward being the wife and friend he is teaching me to be.  I do have a shattered dream: it wasn’t a moment in time or singular event but a series of disappointments.

Have their been shattered dreams or disappointments that are hindering your leadership or the confidence you have in your daily life?

When you read the word “Perfectionist” what comes to your mind?
What about when you read the word “Prideful?”
Now think about these two words as they relate to you…

You may be a free-spirited lady who much prefers the word “messy” or “organic” over the word “perfectionist.” If that’s you please stick with me, you may learn a lot about your sister, your mom or your co-worker through this post.

When I read the word “perfectionist” my thought are generally pretty good…I can see the negative, but in general it’s something I have found myself striving for in life.

However when I think about the word “prideful”, it is not a quality I want to attain.
But then I read this quote…

“although perfectionists seem very insecure, doubting their decisions, and having low opinions of themselves, at the same time, they have excessively high personal standards and exaggerated emphasis on precision, order and organization, which suggests an aspiration to be better than others.” Perfecting Ourselves to Death

I had to stop and read it again and again…that doesn’t sound like the positive view of “perfectionism” I have. That sounds exactly like PRIDE!

I honestly scared myself.  Reading through this list the attributes of “perfectionism” gave me a wake up call.  Not all the time do I find myself living out all these attributes, but I have seen all of them take a deep root in my life at some point. In fact I used to gain a lot of my confidence from being a perfectionist.

Now what do I do?  I just realized that this is pride and now I have to work through it.  I wrote out all these prideful attributes I had just identified in myself, because I had never thought I was really just living out the definition of Pride.  I slowly began to work through these over the next week in my conversations with God.  They certainly are not gone, but Ihave started to be able to indentify them quickly and say a quote I picked up from Beth Moore’s book So Long Insecurity, ”That’s nothing but pride.  God, forgive me.  Self, get over it.”

Can you identify with the perfectionist? Can you see how Pride can hinder your leadership?

I was a rule follower and I really felt like the plan for my life had been laid out for me..no reason to dream. I know it’s pretty sad.

The people around me growing up didn’t do this on purpose; they just really saw potential in me that didn’t resonate with my heart. When I tell my friends and family from childhood that I have a new dream or that I am quitting something in order to pursue what I really have big dreams for, I get scared out of my mind.  I am so afraid they will be disappointed in me because their dream wasn’t my dream or because I had pursued a path that someone laid out for me and came to realize that it wasn’t my dream but theirs I was pursuing.

So when I got home to really dig into my Dream booklet I started to realize that I really do have dreams now.  My dream now hasn’t fully formed but I am taking action on some big things in order for me to pursue my dream.

Last week I returned from a mission trip to the Dominican Republic with 14 Cross Point members with a confused look on my face. While I was there I didn’t feel a lot of direction on how I could really use my gifts, talents and resources to help the cause in the DR.  The one thing I did feel was that whatever I was supposed to do was going to make me uncomfortable.  So I went with that for a few days, and after more prayer realized that God was calling me to give something up.  I hate giving up, and I also have a real issue with making success my Ultimate instead of my relationship with Christ.   All of that coupled together caused me to realize that I was going to have to give up something in order to pursue my dreams, and, boy, was it going to be uncomfortable!

Since then I have really started to take action on this uncomfortable feeling, and I have talked to a few people that may be able to help me pursue my dreams. And most importantly, I have a game plan to give up what I need to in order to pursue my dreams.

Do you need to give something up to pursue your dream?

Don’t deny it,  you have probably had dreams of or even described yourself as one of these phrases.  I have too. In fact, I take pride in calling myself a multitasker.

The truth is I only do a few things well.  Within months of graduating from college I got my first job in ministry. When I moved to Nashville I decided, I am good at so many things I should use my gifts in the business world and find a new career.  Though I know it would have been possible what I found through this process is that I am not a good nanny, I don’t get a long with graph paper, I hate convincing people they need something they really don’t, and I can not work 3 jobs at one time. But I have realized….

Sarah is good at being interupted and truly listening.
Sherry is really great at stimulating conversations.
Emily has the gift of spreading joy.
Elizabeth thrives when she is working with special needs children.
Blair loves helping people find financial freedom.

Today I am so thankful that there are women that are great at the things I am not or even the things I really just loathe.  This is about using your strengths but more than that it’s about identifying that women around me that are better at certain things.  Though I have realized this over the years one thing I’m not great at is actually applauding these women for using their gifts, strengths, and talents. I want to praise them for doing a great job at what I stink at. I want to love them because of their gifts and not let the jealousy sneak in.

Here are a couple questions i want to ask myself on a regular basis:

I feel strong when i _______________.
I am not  great at _______________________.
I will say no to __________________.
_________ is really great at ____________.

There was a point in high school that I really discovered that all I had were heroes. I looked up to them, wanted to BE them, but didn’t have any investment from them into my life. The first woman that started to mentor me was Liz…I did not always agree with her and I hated when she said I wasn’t investing in the right people or the right things. Liz noticed the potential I had and refused to give up on helping me be the best follower of Christ I could be.  She was not my hero, and I did not want her life.  But I did desire to have her unwavering heart for God’s people.

Paul choose Timothy to go with him on his journeys, and as a result of their relationship those in Jerusalem were “being strengthened in the faith, and were increasing in number daily.” Acts 16:5

In his book, A Game Plan for Life: The Power of Mentoring, John Wooden describes several types of mentors: professional mentors, leadership mentors, and spiritual mentors.  John Wooden has spent time with heroes (being the most successful NCAA basketball coach in history) but he makes the distinction between a hero and a mentor by saying, “A hero takes our breath away but a mentor is given our trust.” We can also identify a mentor as one that helps us become a better version of ourselves.

For me Liz was my first real spiritual mentor. But as I began to think about it, I could identify professional mentors and leadership mentors that I have been so privileged to learn from.  In my life I need a balance of these types of mentors.  I know that with my professional mentor, I can become so wrapped up in attainable goals that my leadership really suffers. In 2010 i want to pursue a great harmony of these types of mentors in my life.

Do you think it’s important for you to have a mentor?
Do you have a professional, leadership or spiritual mentor?
What’s one great lesson you’ve learned from one of your mentors?