Each of You Must Take Responsibility

Read the quote below and fill in the blanks based on your life and expectations:

“Yes, I want to serve God-as long as it’s ______________. Yes, I want to do His will-until it becomes ________________for me. Yes-I want to hear His words long as long as it’s more about ________________ than actually having to ____________ as long as He’s not asking me to_____________________________________ as long as it doesn’t mean I have to_______________________ As long as I like it.”

Now let’s read through the quote above with the original blanks.

“Yes, I want to serve God-as long as it’s convenient. Yes, I want to do His will-until it becomes a tad uncomfortable for me. Yes-I want to hear His words long as long as it’s more about telling people things than actually having to do things, as long as He’s not asking me to get more involved than I actually am, as long as it doesn’t mean I have to deviate much away from the way I’ve been operating thus far. As long as I like it.”
-Priscilla Shirer – “Life Interrupted”

Maybe your version of the quote sounded much better than Priscilla’s. But if we’re honest, I’m sure most of you share some similarities.

Responsibility…A word that may make you want to run for the hills!

For me that word is hard because it’s in my nature to take responsibility for far more than I can handle. The other day my boss commented to me that I can’t help but take responsibility. This is somewhat of a blessing and a curse because my response can be extreme.

I previously worked for a church of 8,000 in their small groups area. I got burned out by taking on too much responsibility. When we moved to Nashville for my husband to start a new job, I applied for everything under the sun BUT ministry. I worked for a couple of months in other areas and then, God pulled me aside and said,

“You are going back into ministry.”

But after two years of being on staff at Cross Point Church, I often find myself in the same place. Taking on too much responsibility that often feels bigger than what I can handle. Sometimes I just want to let go of what he has called me to do.

How many people does God talk about in scripture who had these same thoughts?
Moses
Abraham
Sarah
Joseph
Christs’ own disciples
Mary
& of course Jonah, who did everything he could to run away from God’s calling on his life.

In Acts 2, Jesus said that He was sending the Holy Spirit and that it would be better for us. Better than even having Him with us. Isn’t that incredible? I don’t think we remember that as often as we should. God gives us this great big charge, “Take responsibility,” and we forget that we now operate with the Holy Spirit.

We don’t have to do it on our own.

Even though it did not come to me in a burning bush, recently I was standing in my kitchen and felt the Holy Spirit saying, “You can NOT do this alone, and I haven’t ask you to. With Me, you will do this, it’s the only way it can be done.” I had to take responsibility because He has given me His work, quit literally.

Ask yourself these questions:

Does responsibility make you want to run?
Do you take on too much responsibility?
Do you need to start saying yes to things that God is calling you to do?
Do you need to take steps to get out of your comfort zone?
Do you need to say no to many things so you can really focus on the few things God has called you to do well?

Miranda shared her journey of finding her worth in her talents.

Lorrie shared her story of finding her identity in her role as a mom of 6 amazing kids.

I shared my ups and downs of finding my value in my achievements.

The point of our stories was to share that all of us tend to find our identity in other things rather than in what God says is true about us.  We grasp at roles, accomplishments and accolades to feel worthy… to feel valued.

As we closed the evening, I challenged everyone to take some time this week with God.  Some intentional time. Take a hike Saturday morning and pray.  Replace “The Bachelor” with an hour of reading the Bible and praying.

To know what God says about us, we have to know God.

And to know God, we have to spend time with Him.

That sounds like a great plan until someone posed this very important question: How do I hear God’s voice?

What an honest and beautiful question!

And also a difficult question…

I don’t believe there is a formula to hearing God’s voice.  I don’t think there is a switch you can flip.  Hearing God’s voice may look different for each of us.

I grabbed this excerpt from allaboutprayer.org that might be helpful:

When you want to have a conversation with someone, how do you begin? Do you stand in front of the person and hope they will talk to you? That might work, if the other person is outgoing enough, but usually we begin a conversation by opening our own mouths and talking, engaging the other person’s attention. It’s the same with God! He loves to hear us talk to Him, and it’s in those moments that we prepare ourselves to hear the voice of God. Prayer is like saying, “Hello, God, it’s me. I believe You created me and that You know way more about how I should live my life than I do. I’d like to get to know You better. Here’s what’s going on in my life, and I’d sure like Your thoughts on how to handle it. Would You please speak to me about this today?”

In an ordinary conversation, we speak, then listen for the response of the other person. It’s the same with God! Once we’ve prepared our hearts to listen through prayer, we’re more likely to hear the voice of God. Does He speak to us through an audible voice? Some claim He does, but usually that’s not the case. We may not actually “hear” the voice of God, but He speaks to us in many ways. Here are some of them:

• God speaks through His Word
• God speaks through our thoughts
• God speaks through conversations with others
• God speaks through circumstances

What about you?  How do you hear the voice of God?

Uniquely You Curriculum-Week 3

For Cultivate Her’s 3rd week, we talked about moving from “Input to Output” – we heard from Susie Aboulhosn who gave us some great visuals to help us put the DISC profile into great use. If you haven’t completed your DISC and spiritual giftings profile, be sure to do so – it will help you hone your focus and ensure that you’re more sharply aware of your areas of strength and weakness.

After getting some great insight from Susie, we were given the challenge to go from absorbing and learning information, to putting the information we’ve ingested into action. This should be a sort of pivot point where we go from learning and dreaming to “doing.”

One concept we discussed was the 80/20 rule which states, “You’ll be most efficient (and satisfied) if you spend 80% of your time working in the areas of your talents, giftings and calling and the other 20% of your time working on and delegating your weaknesses.”

We discussed that if you’re not operating in the 80/20 range, that perhaps there are 3 main obstacles in your way:

*Circumstances Beyond Your Control
*Fear
*Lack of Confidence

CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND YOUR CONTROL

We all have life circumstances that are beyond our control; everything from physical limitations to people under our care, etc. Often times we blame circumstances beyond our control as the reason we’re not able to fulfill our calling. So how do we tackle this obstacle?

-Be thankful for what you do have.

If you have physical limitations, thank God for them and ask Him to show you how he’s building character and endurance through them. If you have things or people in your life that demand your time and responsibility, thank God for them and ask Him to show you how He’s working in and through you (and them) in the process.

-Be intentional.

Take a look at how circumstances beyond your control are limiting you from operating in your gifts and talents and consider ways of organizing your time so that the circumstances beyond your control don’t have as much power as you’ve given them.
Consider if there are ways you can delegate some of your time or resopnsiblity toward circumstances beyond your control and let others help you carry the load.

-A reward system.

If you are intentional about tackle the things beyond your control in measurable steps, reward yourself. Example: I have juvenille diabetes – regardless of what I’m doing, I have to monitor my blood sugars multiple times a day. This isn’t easy when I’m working or socializing. So when I do a good job and keep my blood sugars recorded and monitored, I reward myself with buying a 12-pack of Diet Coke (necatar of the gods, in my opinion).

FEAR

Fear is our biggest obstacle challenging us from living in the fullness of our gifts and talents. So how to we tackle it? Let us reflect on some passages of Scripture that describe this problem and use their examples to better ourselves in this area:

And the LORD said to Joshua, “Do not fear and do not be dismayed. Take all the fighting men with you, and arise, go up to Ai. See, I have given into your hand the king of Ai, and his people, his city, and his land.
Joshua 8:1 (ESV)

And the LORD said to Joshua, “Do not fear them, for I have given them into your hands. Not a man of them shall stand before you.”
Joshua 10:8 (ESV)

In the book of Joshua, God tells Joshua “Do not fear.” In the original language of the Bible, there are many times where this phrase means “Do not run.” God isn’t telling Joshua (or us) to not be afraid; He’s telling us to not run from who and what we’ve been called to be.

The Parable of the Talents
“For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. To one he gave fivetalents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.’  His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.’ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Matthew 25:14-30 (ESV)

LACK OF CONFIDENCE

If you look at what the Scriptures say about confidence, you’ll see that the people God called into His service weren’t always immediately confident that they could fulfill their calling.

-Moses’ Calling
And he said, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God. Then the LORD said, “I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites. And now, behold, the cry of the people of Israel has come to me, and I have also seen the oppression with which the Egyptians oppress them. Come, I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring my people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt.” But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” He said, “But I will be with you, and this shall be the sign for you, that I have sent you: when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.”
Exodus 3:6-12

Jonah Chapters 1-3
Check out this great rendition of the story of Jonah, as told by a young girl, Mary Margaret.

Story of Jonah

In both of these stories, God fulfills His promise to see His will come to pass through the people He chose. What makes you think you are any different?

Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
2 Cor 3:4-6 (ESV)

Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God’s grace, which was given me by the working of his power. To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him.
Ephesians 3:7-12 (ESV)

So now that we know the obstacles keeping us from operating at our maximum potential, how do we tackle them? Have some sort of mile-marker to mark the point at which you say “here is where I’m going and here is how I’m going to get there.” I, jumped out of an airplane – tried skydiving for the first time – and after that, launched my own business which has been running now for almost 3 years! Watch my experience:

Kat Skydiving!

What does “jumping” need to look like for you?

Watch Sami’s video and then process these questions with us: Uniquely You Curriculum-Week 2

Who You Are Is Not Defined by What You Do from Jenni Catron on Vimeo.

Uniquely You Curriculum-Week 1

Uniquely You Curriculum-Week 2

Mark your calendars for our next Cultivate Her meeting on Monday, February 21st at 6:30 PM at Cross Point Bellevue!

Tonight marked the start of a new Cultivate Her semester and we were joined by 106 women from the Nashville area as part of our newly formatted gathering that will meet every other Monday night over the next few months. If you missed the first gathering, it’s not too late! Come join us for the next meeting at Cross Point’s Bellevue Campus on Monday, February 7th at 6:30 PM!

This semester was kicked off by founder, Jenni Catron, sharing her vision for Cultivate Her, something that’s been a dream of hers for many years now. The Scripture that we’re using as the basis of our time together as a mid-sized community is from Galatians 6:4-5 and reads, Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work that you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. (The Message).

That passage will be the basis of a seven-week curriculum that we’ll unpack together called “Uniquely You.”

Our guest speaker was a brave soul, Brian Dishon, who took upon the challenge to inspire us to reach our “P.R.I.M.E.” He used the analogy of a diamond he named “Precious,” who journeyed from many miles below the earth’s weighty surface, through volcanic heat, the chiseling of unnecessary baggage and the final chipping and shaping necessary to bring her to her best self, a shiny, rare and exquisite stone that is now admired by all. Much like the diamond, Precious, we, too have to take the journey from moving from our comfort zone, surviving through the heat of the fire of suffering, experience and resistance and finally letting go of our unnecessary baggage and emerging as the beautiful creations that we’ve each been created to be.

Dishon described the acronym “P.R.I.M.E.” and outlined the process as follows:

P = Purpose: What is the (insert your name here) “brand” – define your purpose.
R = Who are you going to Reach – for every purpose, profession or ministry, it’s not about what you’re doing but who you’re reaching – define who that is.
I = Intentionality. We must surround ourselves with people and things that intentionally push us forward, pull us up when we’re down, hold us back when we’re prematurely ready to move and finally, hold us when we need to be held. All of these qualities probably aren’t going to be found in one person, so we have to be intentional with who we surround ourselves with so that we have the support and accountability we need to fulfill our purpose.
M = Method. We have to have a plan, even if it’s just small stepping stones toward a larger goal.
E = Execution. If execution and implementation don’t exist, even the best of ideas and dreams won’t ever see the light of day. We have to be willing to develop a method that keeps us moving onward toward our purpose and execution, experience and evaluation are all crucial in seeing our purpose come to full fruition.

Following this week’s inspirational and challenging talk from Brian Dishon, we were left to discuss several questions that I’m sure will have you and many of us considering how we can best be at our “P.R.I.M.E.” – how would you respond to them?

Who or what have you allowed to define you?
What are some of God’s promises about who He created us to be?

How well do you lead through tense situations?

Yep…I asked the question. I know…It makes me uncomfortable as well. I am not sure if I like my answer.

When Trish first told the leadership team about our speaker for November, Dr. Kellie Hargis, she noted that Dr. Hargis is a leader who can “lead with emotion without being emotional”. I was so captivated by that concept that I wrote it down and have thought about that phrase many times.

I desire to be able to do the same thing. I want to be passionate in what I am doing and I want to lead with that same passion but without letting my “emotional” side get the better of me. Some days it happens, but if I am real honest with myself — I know that I struggle with being “emotional”.  I get emotionally charged both in positive situations and in negative situations. It’s in the negative situations that I can get myself into trouble. I forget my filter and my thoughts sometimes come tumbling out.

Not pretty. Not in a good leader format.

So what do we do as leaders? How do we handle it?

What I heard from Dr. Hargis is simple; however, it’s the application that becomes the hard part:

*Listen. Be willing to listen to what others are saying. People want to be heard.
*Refrain from speaking to quickly. Absorb the information first before making a statement.
*Find the good in the situation.
*Communicate effectively.

Simple enough. Right?

James 1:19 Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener],
slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry. (AMP)

Do you have any other thoughts on how to “lead with emotion without being emotional”?

The Tension Is Good.

That was the theme of Catalyst 2010. And it’s a theme that is really beneficial to look at, as women. Tension exists when we’re in work or ministry situations that are male-dominated. Tension exists when we look to other women for support and mentoring and find jealousy and bullying. But, all of this is good – because it has inspired us to come up with ways to tackle the challenges we face in work and ministry, as well as the need to surround and support one another. This whole idea manifested last Thursday during lunchtime at Catalyst 2010.

Three influential groups of women gathered to partner together to connect and encourage one another. The ladies from Leading and Loving It, Mercy Ministries and Cultivate Her partnered together to host over 120 of the amazing women leaders in attendance at Catalyst 2010. It was lovely to see each of you there!

We heard from Jenni Catron, the Executive Director at Cross Point Church and founder of Cultivate Her about the scope and vision for Cultivate Her, to encourage, inspire and challenge women in their leadership growth. Jenni also shared with us that Cultivate Her will launch its first National Conference on May 12-13, 2011; space is limited, so be sure to register early here.

Eve Annunziato, the Director of Church Relations for Mercy Ministries took the podium and offered us a video message from Mercy Ministries founder Nancy Alcorn, welcoming all of us to Catalyst and sharing a bit more about Mercy Ministries’ vision to provide hope and healing to generations of desperate young women who are seeking freedom from life-controlling issues. Shortly after Nancy’s message, one of the Mercy Ministires graduates shared her testimony with us and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room!

Lori Wilhite & Brandi Wilson of Leading and Loving, a community that connects, encourages and supports pastors’ wives and women in ministry, closed out the luncheon by introducing their vision as well as sharing information about the Just One online conference that took place this week (which was great by the way)!

Thank you to all of you who attended, and be sure to let us know your feedback from the lunch.

What did you learn?  Who did you meet?

Last month at our Cultivate Her event in Nashville, I shared the story of Deborah and the confidence she displayed in her calling.  Deborah is one of my favorite leaders from scripture and I’m continuing to unpack layers of her leadership that fascinate me.

If you need a refresher on the story, hop over to Judges chapters 4 & 5.

Here are some key things I find in this story:

• Deborah is Judge of Israel during a time when Israel is being cruelly oppressed by the Canaanites
• We know she’s married and that she holds court under a palm trim on a hill (sounds like a nice office)
• She gets a command from God for Barak to rally 10,000 men and face the Canaanite army
• Barak refuses to go unless Deborah goes with him
• You never see Deborah waiver; she continually reminds Barak that God promised he would give Sisera, the commander of the Canaanite army, into his hands.
• Chapter 5 is their victory song

I wish the writer of Judges had been a bit more descriptive about the relational and emotional dynamics going on behind the scenes in this story.  The writer tells us what happens and the decisions that Deborah makes, but doesn’t give us a ton of insight into how she felt or what she was processing through each decision.

It’s at this point that I start trying to place myself in the story.  How would I have felt?  What would I have been afraid of?

Here’s what I observe to be the keys to Deborah’s confidence:

1) She had EARNED INFLUENCE.

Deborah was a prophetess and judge of Israel at a time when it was highly unusual for a woman to serve in such positions of leadership.  It makes me think she must have had some significant influence to have been appointed to these positions to begin in.  She also must have displayed consistency of character, love for people, sound judgment, etc in her role as Judge.  Barak and the 10,000 leaders were willing to follow her lead and trusted what she said was God’s command.

2)  She displayed INCREDIBLE STRENGTH

I can’t imagine living in the times that she lived in.  Israel was weak, defenseless and far from God.  I suspect moral was low and hope was barely a flicker.  But Deborah had hope and a vision from God and out of this she summoned the strength to still the voices of doubt and timidity, and as one author describes, “called the people to battle, leading them out of idolatry and restoring their dignity as God’s chosen ones”.

3)  She showed CONSISTENT HUMILITY.

It seems like it would have been easy in her shoes to try to take the credit.  God gave her the command, so she could have easily told Barak, “God told me and you to lead the army”, but she didn’t.  She told Barak that God had called him to lead the army.  At that point, she probably had no idea what her role would be.  She was turning the power and the potential glory over to him.

I also love that in Judges 5:7, Deborah doesn’t refer to herself as judge, prophetess or leader.  She describes herself as “a mother in Israel.”  She didn’t need to prove herself or remind others of her positional power.

4)  She was FAITHFULLY OBEDIENT.

Deborah drew her confidence from her relationship with God.  God gave her the directive for the battle with Sisera and she didn’t lose sight of this even in the heat of it.  Judges 4:14 says “Then Deobrah said to Barak, ‘Up! For this is the day in which the Lord has delivered Sisera into your hand.  Has not the Lord gone out before you?’” After the battle was finished she and Barak sang a victory song in which they repeatedly thank God.

Deborah’s story is such a key reminder to me of God’s faithfulness through our obedience.  I’m sure she didn’t sign up for all that her leadership would demand, but her confidence was in God’s power, not her own.  She was pursuing His glory, not hers and as a result the people she led experienced freedom for 40 years.  That’s remarkable influence!

What challenges do you face in being confident in your calling as a leader?

Confidence allows us to face life with boldness, openness, and honesty.  It enables us to live without worry and to feel safe.  It enables us to live authentically.    Joyce Meyer

Confidence.

When did it start slipping away from us?

If confidence does what Joyce says it does, the only time I can remember living that authentically and freely was as a little girl.

Somewhere along the way things started to eat away at my confidence and now I find myself trying to reclaim the confidence that so quickly eludes me.

There are a lot of enemies to confidence, but there are three that seem to occur repeatedly:

1) Fear

We fear not being good enough… not being beautiful enough… not having enough… not getting what we want… not being liked… not doing something significant with our lives… and the list goes on and on.

What’s worse is that we don’t want to admit our fears, so rather than face them we stuff them under airs of self-confidence.

2) Jealousy

Need I expound on this one?

As women, I think we have an innate propensity to compare.  We compare everything: our looks, our family, our things, our intellect… And once we compare, we determine where we don’t measure up and jealousy creeps in.

3)  Insecurity

This one breaks my heart because insecurity is defined as “a profound sense of self-doubt – a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world.”

This tells me that we are so far from understanding who God says we are.  We’ve lost site of how He values us.

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”  Ephesians 2:10

I love this quote from Beth Moore:

“If we knew who we were and what God has conferred upon us, what everybody else thought of us would grow less and less significant.”

Most of our battles with confidence occur when we are focused on ourselves.  Our fears, jealousies and insecurities become self-fulfilling prophecies that keep us from confidently being ourselves and leading from a place of confidence and security in Christ.

Which one of these enemies of confidence do you wrestle with the most?  Is there another enemy to your confidence that you would add to the list?