My dream once was to sing like my dear friend, Trisha Davis!  But, that’s never going to come true…

In fact, I’ll never forget my singing solo debut in the 6^th grade. Recital night, I followed the young girl performing Italian Opera.  I sang a dramatic rendition of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow.”  My memory of  this event is rather vivid.  When it was over, my parents and my sister gave me a standing ovation. They were the only three clapping – I kid you not.  I ran up to my parents following my “interesting” performance and they simple stated – (Get ready for this because it’s an Annunziato classic family story), “You were the best singer up there.  Now, what do you think about playing sports?”  Honestly! Turns out, I went on to have a four letter sports career in all of my middle and high school years of track, basketball, field hockey, and lacrosse and continued to play sports even at the college level. Just goes to show that sometimes, OTHERS can realistically see the potential of YOUR dreams better than YOU!  But, I had to try it myself… And that’s my point…

Truthfully, as I matured, I discovered my own strengths, passions, gift and talents, sans singing in public.  My dreams became more realistic.  Perhaps, rather too narrow – maybe even too restricted?  After all, do our ambitions ever become too conventional? I’m just asking…

While Gordon MacKenzie was working as a creative illustrator at Hallmark Cards for 30 years, he spent each fall visiting classrooms and teaching children about discovering their creative passions.

In one of my fave books about exploring our own creative genius that flourishes within each of us , Orbiting the Giant Hairball, MacKenzie shares the following story:

I always began with the same introduction in each classroom. ‘Hi my name is Gordon MacKenzie and, among other things, I am an artist.  I’ll bet there are other artists here, too.  There have to be with all the beautiful pictures and designs you have hanging in your classroom and up and down the halls.  I couldn’t help but notice them when I first got here this morning.  So many bright colors and cool shapes.  I’m curious, how many artists are here in the room?  Raise your hands!’

The pattern of responses never varied:

First grade:  the children leapt from their chairs, arms waving widely and eagerly.  Every child was an artist.

Second grade:  about half the kids raised their hands, shoulders high.

Third grade:  at best 10 kids out of 30…tentatively and self-consciously would put up their hands.

Less and less through the grades.  By sixth grade, most of the time, no kids responded.  Occasionally he had one or two who would guardedly raise their hand ever so gingerly and uneasily admitting that he/she were an artist.

Gordan has his theory about why that is, and I have my own:

I truly believe by the time we hit High School, we have been trained to repress our dreams especially if they aren’t conforming or fall into a tame and small little box our society refers to as “normal.”  Additionally, the older we get the less our dreams receive positive validation from family and loved ones.  Furthermore, because we fear ridicule or mockery from friends, and the people with “influence” we like and don’t like yet try to impress, we tend to inhibit any outlandish goals.

My take away from MacKenzie: let’s put cultural standards of limitations aside.  I suggest we never give up on our dream(s). Avoid putting a cap on your imaginative brilliance. I know deep down you have many more desires and ventures you would like to explore. My prayer is that we spend 2010 with a renewed revelation that our aspirations can come to fruition.  My challenge is that, starting right now,  we all raise our hands high with confidence and zeal (Come on now, let me see them!)!

My addiction –  learning to lead and lead well – a life long exploration that I’m not quite sure I’ll ever fully conquer.  But before we get stared, let me first say how excited I am to help launch our Cultivate Her Blog.  It’s an honor to serve on such an amazing board with such an amazing group of women focused on an amazing vision to help women connect, commit and champion to inspire one another. I’m honored and humbled… Speaking of humility, that reminds me of a confession I feel compelled to disclose – just between us!

I have a confession; I have a major crush. Well, at least an affinity; an affinity for any leader who possesses the virtue of humility – a very, very rare feature to find. Recently, I met with an effective, great yet grounded leader who reminded me of the uncommon but necessary “modesty” quality. Not a characteristic I possess personally, but one I precariously long to attain. I tend to be haughty, however, my husband refers to me as a “confident and assured leader.” But, keep in mind, he loves me! (note, that very sentence was NOT a very humble remark now was it? I rest my case!). I feel one of the most attractive attributes of any leader is humility, especially for those of us who struggle with restraint. Humility certainly doesn’t mean you lack assertiveness, strength, determination, competitiveness or lack intelligence. In fact, it’s quite the contrary:

“The temptation of ego enhancement often entices many young leaders down the road to frustration and compromise . . . .One could argue that a lack of humility would be acceptable in high-intensity operations. However, the need for stable leaders with authentic humility remains constant.” Lieutenant Colonel Joseph Doty

Leadership author, Jim Collins, describes a humble leader as follows:

• Demonstrates a compelling modesty, shunning public adulation, never boastful
• Acts with quiet, calm determination; relies principally on inspired standards, not inspiring charisma, to motivate
• Looks in the mirror, not out the window to apportion responsibility for poor results, never blaming other people, external factors, or bad luck
• Builds enduring greatness through a paradoxical combination of personal humility plus professional will
  

The bible, what I consider the best-written guide for teaching and strengthening your leadership skills, puts it this way:

First pride, then the crash – the bigger the ego, the harder the fall. Proverbs 16:18 (The Message)

Leading a flock has a way of exposing the flaws of our own personal vanity. But learning the lesson that, “pride goes before destruction” can be a revolutionary discovery. If we can adopt a teachable spirit, we can begin to shift our management focus away from exalting our own successes, importance and accomplishments (or however we refer to our self promotion and security boosts).   I’ve learned (the hard way, of course) intentionally elevating team members channels motivation, confidence and wisdom to others. Promoting our own significance leads to stumbling.

“Focusing on glorifying God and meeting the needs of others gives us the perspective of the wise.” Dennis Fisher

Proverbs advises that when pride comes, shame follows; yet when humility comes, wisdom follows. That’s the path I’m striving, earnestly, to pursue during my leadership trek.

I’ve seen leaders start out unassuming, but after an unhealthy dose of power and fame, their feet no longer reach the ground. Their spirit turns disingenuous. Don’t overlook the essential component of authentic humility. Modesty is compelling, pride is repelling. Humility in any organization or team will create a loyal environment, trustworthy relationships, and quality results. Additionally, an unassuming spirit appeals to others, as they, too, aspire to achieve the same unpretentiousness. As, I, constantly aspire to achieve, therefore perhaps my leadership crush is quite healthy after all…