My addiction –  learning to lead and lead well – a life long exploration that I’m not quite sure I’ll ever fully conquer.  But before we get stared, let me first say how excited I am to help launch our Cultivate Her Blog.  It’s an honor to serve on such an amazing board with such an amazing group of women focused on an amazing vision to help women connect, commit and champion to inspire one another. I’m honored and humbled… Speaking of humility, that reminds me of a confession I feel compelled to disclose – just between us!

I have a confession; I have a major crush. Well, at least an affinity; an affinity for any leader who possesses the virtue of humility – a very, very rare feature to find. Recently, I met with an effective, great yet grounded leader who reminded me of the uncommon but necessary “modesty” quality. Not a characteristic I possess personally, but one I precariously long to attain. I tend to be haughty, however, my husband refers to me as a “confident and assured leader.” But, keep in mind, he loves me! (note, that very sentence was NOT a very humble remark now was it? I rest my case!). I feel one of the most attractive attributes of any leader is humility, especially for those of us who struggle with restraint. Humility certainly doesn’t mean you lack assertiveness, strength, determination, competitiveness or lack intelligence. In fact, it’s quite the contrary:

“The temptation of ego enhancement often entices many young leaders down the road to frustration and compromise . . . .One could argue that a lack of humility would be acceptable in high-intensity operations. However, the need for stable leaders with authentic humility remains constant.” Lieutenant Colonel Joseph Doty

Leadership author, Jim Collins, describes a humble leader as follows:

• Demonstrates a compelling modesty, shunning public adulation, never boastful
• Acts with quiet, calm determination; relies principally on inspired standards, not inspiring charisma, to motivate
• Looks in the mirror, not out the window to apportion responsibility for poor results, never blaming other people, external factors, or bad luck
• Builds enduring greatness through a paradoxical combination of personal humility plus professional will
  

The bible, what I consider the best-written guide for teaching and strengthening your leadership skills, puts it this way:

First pride, then the crash – the bigger the ego, the harder the fall. Proverbs 16:18 (The Message)

Leading a flock has a way of exposing the flaws of our own personal vanity. But learning the lesson that, “pride goes before destruction” can be a revolutionary discovery. If we can adopt a teachable spirit, we can begin to shift our management focus away from exalting our own successes, importance and accomplishments (or however we refer to our self promotion and security boosts).   I’ve learned (the hard way, of course) intentionally elevating team members channels motivation, confidence and wisdom to others. Promoting our own significance leads to stumbling.

“Focusing on glorifying God and meeting the needs of others gives us the perspective of the wise.” Dennis Fisher

Proverbs advises that when pride comes, shame follows; yet when humility comes, wisdom follows. That’s the path I’m striving, earnestly, to pursue during my leadership trek.

I’ve seen leaders start out unassuming, but after an unhealthy dose of power and fame, their feet no longer reach the ground. Their spirit turns disingenuous. Don’t overlook the essential component of authentic humility. Modesty is compelling, pride is repelling. Humility in any organization or team will create a loyal environment, trustworthy relationships, and quality results. Additionally, an unassuming spirit appeals to others, as they, too, aspire to achieve the same unpretentiousness. As, I, constantly aspire to achieve, therefore perhaps my leadership crush is quite healthy after all…